True friendship: Walking into a person’s house and having your Wi-Fi connect automatically. Happy birthday to my best friend and brother! Did you know that dolphins are so smart that they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? I’m not actually funny. “I’m going to bed” really means… “I’m going to lie in my bed and look at my phone.”. Funny LoL Builds. Set a time frame for your custom status. Reply. Why God, why? But I didn’t want a puppy. Sometimes I need expert advice. You can get some Good laughs and annoy the hell out of your friends using the tts function. I recently gave up Warcraft, so my productivity and drinking have increased dramatically. This sends a fake ban message to people, freaks them out. I like long, romantic walks down every aisle of Target. I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is… Scaring men is easy. Consider the following examples for your statuses on the different platforms that you use. Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right? Make your weird light shine bright, so the other weirdos know where to find you. I pray that you have a happy 25th Birthday! “Do you smell carrots?”. Note that unlike the permanent status update above, the statuses you send out to your contact list will disappear after 24 hours. Time flies like an arrow. 5. You can set a status in WhatsApp, which lets your friends see what you’re up to without having to ping you with a message or a call. Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. Well, buckle up sweet cheeks – I’m about to get freakin’ adorable. If I’m already in my sweatpants, I’m not leaving the house again. When it comes to getting a quick message to nearly anyone in the world, modern techno-users have plenty of options. I have a little plaque. I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people. The smile on your face is radiant, the glow on your cheeks is beautiful, and my lips on your lips would be magical. Your email address will not be published. If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, that would be an amazing coincidence. This makes the feature kind of a combination of the old-school status and a short Facebook or Twitter update. Add a new picture or video and a caption. Bye. If you message me and I don’t message you back, it’s because I fainted from happiness. Check out our list of funny names for your online group hangout. My drug test came back negative. Without any doubt whatsapp is ranking at the top in the list of current social networking apps. someone is just salty today If I’m vinegar, then you must be baking soda. Or something like that. There is a random mode, where your status is generated from many different kinds of things. So, a very happy birthday to you, friend. Hopefully, our list has gotten a chuckle or two. Funny Status Messages – Funny Tweets & Funny Captions Funny Status Messages : This is the best list of funny status messages for Whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Stay tuned with our weekly recap of what’s hot & cool. Fact: Phone on silent mode- 10 Missed call… Turns volume too loud- Nobody calls all day! How much does a hipster weigh? Wish my brother a happy birthday words can’t express how much I love this guy…. Unfortunately, there’s a “socio” in front of it. It said concentrate! It's so simple to be wise. What did one snowman say to the other one? People make their friends happy by sending funny messages and videos. My dealer sure has some explaining to do. You don’t like me. If you treat me like an option, I’ll leave you like a choice. The two statuses are different; changing one will not change the other. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. May your talents keep shining like this always. Join over 260,000 subscribers! Funny Status for Facebook: I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?” (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App ) Women always worry about the things men forget. The 20 Most Iconic AIM Away Messages Of All Time. Robert is a freelance editor and writer living in Colorado. Can we please go back to the main menu of life? I’m just on battery saver mode. The show was called Spongebob Squarepants, but everyone knows the star was Patrick. You should check out the Prairie Home Companion Pretty Good Joke Book for a lot more of these kinds of witty one-liners. Obviously not me. I eat my tacos over a tortilla. What did the ocean say to the shore? Sometimes the game is up and you know you can’t win. I’m not actually this tall. Close. When I was a boy, I laid in my twin sized bed and wondered where my brother was. Press save when you are done! A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday. Disclaimer: Some pages on this site may include an affiliate link. Go to game activity and then click on the game name or you can click on ad ... You can even create fake playing status custom message; ... You can also set discord watching status to any funny playing status which depends on your creativity. Just remember that not every game is lost. It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. I am not perfect, but I am a limited edition. If you are among those looking for funny status for discord, you do not need to seek further; I’ve gathered over 25 status you might like. Try them out and see if you get any laughs. Mosquitos are like family. My last words will be “I left a million dollars under the…”. I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly. My drug test came back negative. Dad: No, I got them all cut. Details are sketchy. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. I am online too. That’s a shame. I’d tell a chemistry joke but it’s pretty basic. I wouldn’t trade one stupid decision for another five years of my life. Funny Birthday Message For Friend Girl. When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker. But to make it really funny you need a bit of humor. The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once! God is really creative, I mean… just look at me. Scroll down more to find our efforts in finding the list of WhatsApp status messages in English. My neck, my back, my Netflix and my snacks. Want more funny jokes and one-liners for your social media accounts? A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. The police called to say one of my friends escaped from a mental hospital. Funny status updates for all platforms. These statuses can be cool or funny or short enough to tell people that whats you are up to. 1). Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny. If you liked please remember to like, comment, and subscribe! “Employee of the Month” is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. Wanna, like, chat? If people are talking behind your back,  that’s a good time to fart. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. You May Like : Best Jokes For Whatsapp Status. However no movement on more presence statuses, or a custom presence status as of yet. Please reload and try again. It’s not that I don’t want to go to work. Status, Captions & Quotes for Facebook, Whatsapp & Instagram. Who needs television when there is so much drama on Whatsapp? What are your other two wishes?

Responsibilities Of Dentist Brainly, Nordictrack Reset Button, Samsung Dryer No Power To Control Panel, Mega Gargant Height Cm, Which Of The Following Is An Assumption Of Inclusion?,